Wanted Ad: I am Looking for Some Twitter Shares

In the future (past), society began to re-asses the utility of being online. The internet (as we know it) develops in a series of cycles. In time, we learn that during certain cycles, it becomes more valuable to utilize the internet to hide oneself as opposed to promote oneself (inversion).

-Mister Volatility
After a conference call with my assistant, Tonya, I am still uncertain if I own any preferred shares of Twitter. Trading public markets is like venture capital with one caveat—timeframe. Venture investors trade over periods of years. Mister Volatility (that’s me) invests in ventures himself and has, from time to time, lent money to VC firms to participate in their arbitrage. Private equity is a longer timeframe trade. In public market trading there is sufficient liquidity on smaller timeframes (scales), down to the millisecond. These micro scales present results to the exponential–so I must build models to trade them. The liquidity cycle of Venture Capital is much longer. Given the variance in timeframes my investment focus is dual: Private equity on in the longer frame and public (liquid) markets on the shorter.

I do not own any direct shares of Twitter—but it is possible that I own some through a fund. The reason Tonya doesn’t know is because she doesn’t know everything about me. If there is one imperative I can impart about assistants, even the great ones, it is this: keep some secrets.

Anyway, what I am saying is that I want to buy shares of Twitter, even if I already own some. If I already have some, I’d like more. I understand there are shares for sale at Sharepost.com, and I instructed Tonya to take care of it. Unfortunately, she said the website will not accept my registration because The Tinker Factory does not release it’s physical addresses, and an address is required. Therefore, if anyone is interested in selling me shares, please come by the office sooner rather than later. I am an internet analyst after all, and my analysis reveals that the market cap of Twitter will surpass that of Google. In fact, it will be the second largest company in the world (as measured by market cap). We will talk about the first largest company in the world later, but I’ll give you a hint: think automated distribution and green energy. (But don’t limit yourself to the typical definition of clean and efficient power. Might not “green energy” refer to banking–some money is green and banking is about moving money, which requires energy!)

Perhaps someone will be in touch soon to sell me some shares. No matter, I am going to build some companies over the next couple of weeks that I’ll sell to Twitter for stock as opposed to cash.

And the beat goes on.